i often think of what it would feel like
i think of what it would feel like to make it all stop
everything makes me want to stop
but at the same time, it makes me want to keep going
the thoughts in my head
the ones that tell me to stop breathing
the ones that tell me to stop living
they are the same thoughts that keep me alive
they are the ones that help me love
but no matter how much i love
no matter how much i want to keep going
no matter how much i am happy
no matter how much i am surrounded by people i love, and people that love me
i still can’t think of why i would want to keep doing this
the thoughts, constantly revealing themselves
‘what if you jumped out of the car’
‘what if you held your hand on the stove’
‘what if you stopped eating’
what if i listened to those thoughts
would anything bad truly happen
would it hurt? would it feel freeing?
i often think of ending my life
and i don’t think i would mind.
Leave a Reply