today felt different.
i’m not sure why.
my mum was kind—
and that’s not usual.
but even with her kindness,
even with the quiet,
they were still there.
the thoughts.
the voices.
the so-called friends
that live inside my head.
they told me
it was time to go.
i sat still,
staring at a rusted blade i found,
wondering how it would feel
to press it down,
to draw a line across my skin,
to let it all slip away.
they told me to.
they all told me to.
but they aren’t real.
i know that now.
and i can say no.
i did say no.
but they don’t leave.
no matter how I try,
no matter how I fight,
they stay.
always just there,
just loud enough.
today was different.
but i still don’t know
if that’s good
or just something else
to survive.
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